What Happened To Genkai?
by Cyndi
Summary: Someone is masquerading as Genkai. Who is it and what do they want with Koenma? This whole fic is a big joke, so have fun! ^_^


A/N: I got this silly idea after seeing it happen in a Role Play chatroom on Yahoo. Too hilarious to pass up! It moves slightly off canon, but I think it's supposed to since it's a humor fic It won't be funny until the end, but I promise you'll laugh! :P I wrote this to combat some writer's block and I think it worked.   
  
  


What Happened To Genkai? 

  
  
  
  


The closet door slammed shut with a bang. 

Genkai, knocked unconscious and practically naked, was tied up inside. Somebody chuckled. There was the swish of clothes being donned, a wig being applied and then silence. The new 'Genkai' checked herself in the bathroom mirror, grinned under the cloth mask and twirled a dull pink lock that fell out from under the fabric. 

Boy, was this gonna be fun.   
  


Kuwabara stood by the arena entrance. Trying to keep himself amused while he waited for the next round of fights and new word on Yusuke. Since the secret about Genkai being the masked fighter was out, he knew the small form coming towards him was indeed the wise little woman. 

"Hey Genkai! Where's Urameshi?" 

'Genkai' came closer. She seemed to be walking a little funny. When she reached Kuwabara, she shrugged and kept on her way into the arena. 

_That's funny, Genkai always knows where Urameshi is..._ He straightened up. "Hey!" 

The figure ahead turned. 

"You know, there's eyedrops for your problem." Kuwabara pointed to his own eyes and grinned. 

'Genkai' just nodded and resumed her previous course. She passed Hiei in the hallway. Hiei looked back immediately and sneered. Something seemed off, he couldn't put his finger on it. He glanced across the corridor at the redheaded Kurama, who also glared after the person who passed. 

"Something isn't right about her energy," Hiei muttered. 

Kurama nodded, "I know."   
  


Botan was busy enjoying a can of soda in the locker room when the door clicked open. She looked over to see 'Genkai' slipping in. 'Genkai' seemed a little surprised to see Botan in the locker room. Odd, usually she'd scowl. 

"Hey...Genkai." 

"What are you doing in here?" 

At least she sounded like Genkai. 

Botan raised a brow, "I'm waiting for Kuwabara. He said he'd be right back after he wins the next match and finds Yusuke. He's probably lounging outside, waiting around." 

'Genkai' reached out so quickly that Botan didn't even see her arm move. She snatched the can from her hand and crushed it. Carbonated liquid squirted out the top and bottom. "Well, instead of standing there, why don't you go help him search?" 

The young woman scowled at the older one. Then she noticed the hand. "What's the deal with your nails?" 

"I uh...painted them," 'Genkai' quickly hid both hands behind her back. "Don't ask stupid questions! Just leave me alone to think!" 

_Okay, what is the deal with Genkai today? She's too cranky and always knows where Yusuke is. Something's not right here._ Botan wondered silently as she quietly slipped past the angry old woman.   
  


Meanwhile, back at the hotel, Yusuke stumbled into the room to shower and rest. He'd just come out of the shower when he heard movement in the closet. 

He groaned. "...Okay, Kuwabara, that isn't funny. Get out of the closet." 

More noises. 

"Grr...stupid idiot," Yusuke got off the bed, scowling as he approached the closet. He took a breath in preparation for an earbashing and opened the door. 

Genkai fell out of the closet and landed at Yusuke's feet. She seemed groggy like someone drugged her. Weird metal ropes bound her from the shoulders to her ankles and duct tape prevented her from calling out. She glared at her student, waiting for him to untie her. Yusuke quickly tore the duct tape off and started untying her. He turned a little red when he realized she had nothing but scraps of cloth to cover her. Half-naked old ladies weren't his thing. 

"What happened to you?" 

Genkai used Yusuke's arm to pull herself up and snatched a robe from the closet. It was too big for her, but it would have to do. She tied it in place quickly and rolled up the sleeves. "I didn't see them...they stuck a needle in my neck while I was resting and I passed out before I could get a good look. I came to all tied up like this. Whoever it is, they're masquerading as me. Yusuke - " 

Loud snoring interrupted her. Yusuke was sound asleep on the floor. Genkai reached over and pushed his mouth shut. He quit snoring. 

"Hmph, guess I have to handle this myself." She shook her head at the sleepy Yusuke and padded quickly out the door.   
  


Botan was about to go back inside when she saw Genkai come running up. She wore nothing more than a gray bathrobe that dragged behind her short frame. 

"Oh, hey again Genkai...wow, you changed fast!" 

"I didn't change anything. Someone's masquerading as me." Genkai skidded to a halt and tried to catch her breath, still a little woozy from whatever substance her attacker pumped into her system. "Oh just come on!" She grabbed Botan by the arm and dragged her into the large arena.   
  


Meanwhile, 'Genkai' stood in the ring. The arena was just starting to fill and the matches would begin within the next few hours. She paced around quietly, observing the people. Almost like she was interested in everything. 

Too interested. Especially when she spied Koenma taking his place in the booth above.   
  


Jorge, Koenma's faithful servant, observed 'Genkai' through his high powered binoculars. He also noticed something weird about her. Like she wasn't quite herself. He nudged Koenma and handed him the binoculars. "Genkai doesn't look quite right to me, sir. Take a look and tell me what you think." 

Koenma nearly swallowed his pacifier. He shot Jorge a dirty look and took the binoculars. Raising them to his eyes, he adjusted the focus and peered at 'Genkai' as she paced around the ring. "Hm, she's probably out of sorts after giving Yusuke her Spirit Wave." 

"I still don't like it." Jorge muttered. 

"Hey! Didn't I tell you to go get me some roasted lobster?! GET GOING!" 

The blue creature startled and fell over backwards. "Yes sir!" He quickly scrambled out the door.   


Back in the ring, 'Genkai' narrowed her eyes up at Koenma's booth. The blue oaf just left. Now she could spring her attack on the little brat. She exited the arena door and made her way up towards her target, unaware that most of Team Urameshi knew she was a fake.   
  


"I knew something felt strange," Kurama noted after Genkai and Botan explained everything to him. He pointed to the corridor leading into the ring, "The fake Genkai went that way, I last saw her pacing around the ring. I don't know what she's up to, but it can't be good." 

Botan crossed her arms in thought. She couldn't figure any of this out either. "Right, thanks Kurama. Hey Genkai, I'll go look for Kuwabara. He needs to know about this too." 

The wise old woman simply nodded her head. She looked over at Hiei, who was standing off to the side. He'd been listening the whole time without commenting. 

Finally, he spoke up, "This person's energy appears to be on a different wavelength than ours. It's still Spirit Energy. But she channels it differently. We need to get to the bottom of this, since I don't want some fraud costing us the Tournament." 

"Agreed," Kurama replied smoothly. He snapped his Rose Whip into being, "Let's go find out who this person really is." 

Both headed for the arena floor.   
  


Koenma hummed to himself while he rocked back in his chair, bored out of his mind. He hated having to come so early when there were more fun things to do. A knock on the door startled him. 

Thinking it was Jorge coming back with the food he requested, he called, "Come in!" 

'Genkai' casually walked in, closing the door behind her. Koenma spun to face her. He grew even more startled. "Oh, hi Genkai! What brings you here?" 

"I need to have a word with you," 'Genkai' said gruffly. 

Suddenly Kuwabara's really annoying voice exploded from the corridor, "KOENMA!" Seconds later the teenager appeared in the doorway, gasping for breath after running faster than he'd ever run before. He saw 'Genkai' and snarled, "That's not really Genkai! It's - " 

'Genkai' lunged forward. She landed a hard uppercut that sent Kuwabara sailing back out into the corridor. 

"Whydoessthisalwayshappentomeeeeee!" He whined as he went flying, his face deformed from the blow. His body went flying past Botan, hit the wall and landed in an ungraceful heap. 

Botan winced. "Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark." 

"Hey!" Koenma grabbed 'Genkai' by the forearm, frowning. "That's no way to treat your own team mate!" 

'Genkai' stared down at the toddler-sized prince. "What are you talking about? I always slap Kuwabara around." 

"Not that I've seen," Koenma countered. 

Another body slipped into the room. 'Genkai' felt the sharp tip of a sword's blade touch her neck. She rolled her eyes sideways and saw Hiei glaring at her with cold eyes. 

Thinking fast, she sputtered, "What are you doing? I'm trying to find the impostor!" 

An identical voice chuckled outside the door. "Sorry, darling, but you're the fake." The real Genkai slipped into the room, flanked by Kurama. She still wore the bathrobe, although it had been torn and adjusted to fit her better. 

"ACK!" Koenma jerked his hand off the fake Genkai's arm and jumped back. "Hey, who are you?!" 

'Genkai' vanished! She just disappeared in a blur, only to reappear on the other end of the room. She was chuckling. "I knew this disguise would get me in here. I want a word with King Yemma. Don't stand in my way, or you'll perish!" 

"That's what you think." Kurama raised his whip and sent it slashing down at the fake Genkai, "Rose Whip Slash!" 

'Genkai' jumped over the thorny weapon. All but the back of her costume escaped damage. Everybody stared at the new appendage wavering in the air. 

Genkai didn't hesitate too long. She dove behind 'Genkai', grabbed the new discovery and used it to slam the impostor into the wall. 'Genkai' hit the floor, dazed. Hiei came in with a slash that removed the mask. Kurama brought down his whip, the thorns cutting off the rest of the costume. It revealed a lot of white skin. Hiei kicked at the shoes. They broke right off, revealing very strange feet. Keeping those in the shoes must've been agony. 

Everybody gasped. Except for Koenma. He jumped forward and pointed an accusing finger, "Hey! I know you! How in the world did you get out?!" 

Freeza stood up, blinked and realized his disguise fell off. He removed the rest of the wig and threw it down. "Damn, show's over..." He grabbed Koenma's shirt and lifted him off the ground, "Nobody come any closer, or he's dead! Now you!" He shook the toddler, "Take me to King Yemma. I want my life back." 

"Never!" 

Unfortunately, Freeza forgot about the real Genkai. She charged from behind and landed a well-placed punch to the base of Freeza's neck. Freeza dropped instantly, out cold. Genkai kicked him in the ribs to roll him over. "Get an afterlife," she quipped, turning to Koenma, "Looks like it's over now." 

"Indeed." Koenma snapped his fingers and two guards came in. They quickly chained Freeza's unconscious form and carried him out. 

Hiei spun his sword and sheathed it. He narrowed his eyes, "Who was that clown anyway?" 

"I was about to ask the same question." Kurama also put his weapon away. 

"Long story," Koenma groaned, resuming his seat, "This could take a while." 

Genkai didn't say anything. She though the whole situation was oddly funny. Telling Yusuke about it later would be worth the chuckle. While the others talked, she slipped out to check on Kuwabara. 

Kuwabara jumped up as the guards carried Freeza by. He pointed and shrieked, "SHE'S A HE! EWW!" 

Botan and Genkai both sweatdropped.   
  


And deep in the dungeons of Hell, Freeza woke up to roaring laughter and wolf-whistles. So much for his plan of taking his life back and conquering the demon world. 

He must've sulked for hours over it. Trying to drown out the incessant teasing. 

Someone threw a lacy black bra into his cell. Freeza sneered and tossed it to the left. A pair of red satin panties came sailing in and landed on his head. He flung those off to the right, frowning. Flanking him were two mountains of women's undergarments in various colors, shapes and sizes. Panties on the right, bras on the left. 

Freeza studied the two piles and groaned. Would he ever live down the day he disguised himself as a little old lady? 


End file.
